went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize