I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize