is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
