if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
