Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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