My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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