I feel like I'm in dance class right now
home. puking in laundry basket.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
