what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
