WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize