Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
