you guys were way drunker than both of me
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
