So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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