Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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