im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
