she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
why is half of my head shaved?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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