i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize