Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
