I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
