have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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