He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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