belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
