You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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