Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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