Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
