chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize