apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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