guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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