So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
