Texts From Last Night

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  (678): View more from Georgia

  My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU

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  (678): My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU http://tfl.nu/x7kk
  Replies (76) Good night (6384) Bad night (911)
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  (805): View more from California

  My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.

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  (805): My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years. http://tfl.nu/zmw5
  Replies (18) Good night (3876) Bad night (751)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.

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  (570): Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today. http://tfl.nu/c736
  Replies (5) Good night (1060) Bad night (3262)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."

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  (318): He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later." http://tfl.nu/4lz3
  Replies (14) Good night (2486) Bad night (3827)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??

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  (813): Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick?? http://tfl.nu/vxvq
  Replies (12) Good night (3294) Bad night (1524)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?

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  (410): i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka. (443): do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob? http://tfl.nu/qeeu
  Replies (18) Good night (4909) Bad night (1124)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.

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  (864): Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded. http://tfl.nu/5fxu
  Replies (21) Good night (3884) Bad night (1965)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...

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  (210): I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti... http://tfl.nu/mzxu
  Replies (3) Good night (819) Bad night (1628)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.

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  (646): Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around. http://tfl.nu/mt6p
  Replies (7) Good night (593) Bad night (1320)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am

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  (773): despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am http://tfl.nu/0kp9
  Replies (1) Good night (1273) Bad night (683)
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  (631): View more from New York

  So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.

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  (631): So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown. http://tfl.nu/wxtg
  Replies (5) Good night (2226) Bad night (527)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life

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  (330): I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life http://tfl.nu/2qsb
  Replies (2) Good night (976) Bad night (458)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often

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  (208): Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often http://tfl.nu/tod9
  Replies (3) Good night (1194) Bad night (382)
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  (+81): View more from

  I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.

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  (+81): I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue. http://tfl.nu/z1d0
  Replies (0) Good night (293) Bad night (601)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.

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  (505): It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time. http://tfl.nu/ncii
  Replies (1) Good night (579) Bad night (210)

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