I was born with a shot glass in my hand
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
this will be a night to untag.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
