Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(219): View more from Indiana

Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.

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(219): Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream. http://tfl.nu/v6je

Replies (37) Good night (6874) Bad night (659)
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(805): View more from California

NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??

(805): View more from California

He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

You should probably go find him.

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(805): NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be?? (805): He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is. (814): You should probably go find him. http://tfl.nu/673m

Replies (11) Good night (3005) Bad night (906)
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(317): View more from Indiana

There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??

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(317): There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas?? http://tfl.nu/74h0

Replies (59) Good night (1976) Bad night (3198)
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(818): View more from California

I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head

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(818): I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head http://tfl.nu/6xrq

Replies (141) Good night (2182) Bad night (4903)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.

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(612): I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius. http://tfl.nu/9tta

Replies (39) Good night (4050) Bad night (867)
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(312): View more from Illinois

dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.

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(312): dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it. http://tfl.nu/1896

Replies (22) Good night (878) Bad night (8268)
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(816): View more from Missouri

So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...

(1-816): View more from Missouri

Yeeah thank god

(816): View more from Missouri

Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.

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(816): So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant... (1-816): Yeeah thank god (816): Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million. http://tfl.nu/pevw

Replies (54) Good night (2068) Bad night (15483)
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(513): View more from Ohio

just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America

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(513): just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America http://tfl.nu/08yj

Replies (23) Good night (6984) Bad night (1364)
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(417): View more from Missouri

I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.

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(417): I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat. http://tfl.nu/8r9j

Replies (32) Good night (1215) Bad night (7174)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.

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(908): This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/5cs7

Replies (16) Good night (1163) Bad night (3580)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.

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(610): Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka. http://tfl.nu/ea3z

Replies (8) Good night (1083) Bad night (629)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.

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(215): There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry. http://tfl.nu/7teg

Replies (8) Good night (356) Bad night (566)
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(815): View more from Illinois

is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?

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(815): is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal? http://tfl.nu/lpf5

Replies (14) Good night (640) Bad night (394)
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(703): View more from Virginia

He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him

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(703): He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him http://tfl.nu/a7jc

Replies (1) Good night (536) Bad night (175)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.

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(605): I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST. http://tfl.nu/w1we

Replies (0) Good night (501) Bad night (181)

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