where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
