she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.