Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"

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(401): So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection" http://tfl.nu/al1v

Replies (20) Good night (841) Bad night (5377)
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(913): View more from Kansas

checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.

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(913): checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad. http://tfl.nu/40qb

Replies (27) Good night (1669) Bad night (7275)
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(353): View more from

I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing

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(353): I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing http://tfl.nu/a43r

Replies (41) Good night (5615) Bad night (1810)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.

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(314): I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it. http://tfl.nu/3rlt

Replies (12) Good night (916) Bad night (5690)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop

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(217): Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop http://tfl.nu/m1fy

Replies (13) Good night (6603) Bad night (1517)
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(949): View more from California

My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.

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(949): My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship. http://tfl.nu/pxfl

Replies (11) Good night (3236) Bad night (1180)
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(518): View more from New York

I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.

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(518): I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer. http://tfl.nu/11oh

Replies (16) Good night (3182) Bad night (1338)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?

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(678): Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon? http://tfl.nu/v3dn

Replies (6) Good night (2292) Bad night (849)
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(530): View more from California

My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.

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(530): My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/pzgc

Replies (13) Good night (3906) Bad night (1231)
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(514): View more from Quebec

He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why

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(514): He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why http://tfl.nu/b6q6

Replies (11) Good night (958) Bad night (2637)
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(631): View more from New York

he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him

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(631): he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him http://tfl.nu/2wji

Replies (15) Good night (2111) Bad night (1036)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.

(336): View more from North Carolina

Did it work?

(918): View more from Oklahoma

Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.

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(918): I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over. (336): Did it work? (918): Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door. http://tfl.nu/swzf

Replies (8) Good night (3027) Bad night (558)
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(415): View more from California

I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT

(707): View more from California

I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.

(415): View more from California

I effort

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(415): I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT (707): I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT. (415): I effort http://tfl.nu/ft8e

Replies (6) Good night (1478) Bad night (542)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...

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(770): Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now... http://tfl.nu/knzm

Replies (6) Good night (907) Bad night (350)
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(770): View more from Georgia

They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.

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(770): They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls. http://tfl.nu/suw6

Replies (4) Good night (492) Bad night (286)

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