apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My dick has a subreddit
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online