I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.