their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
