He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
