I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You smell like stripper and shame
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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