Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
