I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
