he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
