Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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