Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
