Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
