I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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