You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
