If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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