I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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