what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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