I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
