i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
