He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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