i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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