spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Pooping to opera.
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