do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
