Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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