Define "chronic" masturbator.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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