Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I have tasted many bathrooms
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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