I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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