i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize