I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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