can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize