Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
