I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
19 Utterly Perfect Responses To ‘Send Nudes’ Texts
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.