last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
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Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Naked Twister starts at high noon
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance