i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC