You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED