Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
