I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
