just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.