At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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