I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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