Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
