marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
