ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
