i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
