Its about making memories worth repressing
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize