Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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