so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
