he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
