i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
